“I refuse to join any club that would have someone like me as a member.”
–Groucho Marx
By nature neither Jay or I are social joiners because we don’t like committing to having to be somewhere at a specific time to do a specific thing. Keep in mind that for many years, since we have six kids, we were quite committed and our time wasn’t our own. We prefer to be a bit more spontaneous. Nevertheless, we’ve joined plenty of groups over the years, and most of what we joined turned out to be enjoyable, but here’s some things we joined: the good and the forgettable. To be honest, I’m probably to blame for most of these, because I love a good idea, and they all seemed like a good idea at the time.
One of the first things that comes to mind is that way back in about 2001 we joined a group of people in Westminster who invited us to start playing cards with them. Food, wine and cards, how bad could it be? We signed up, despite not having any idea how to play the chosen game of Pitch. I had a terrible time keeping the rules straight, and worse, since I’m not a competitive person, I didn’t really care if we won, which in a classic self fulfilling prophecy, we typically didn’t. One thing that made it tough to relax is that we always went to this one couple’s house, which required us bringing our 2 and 4 year olds along, which is in no way relaxing, since there was always someone crying, Adam broke something, she hit me, etc. Other than that, for the most part, we had fun and met some other couples. Unfortunately for the longevity of this group, we were unique for not getting mad at each other over dumb moves, and I’m sure over other things as well. Several months in to our regular Pitch games, the Pitch group broke up, and 3 of the other couples all got divorced. I’m sure it had nothing to do with pitch, but the good news is that we didn’t have to play anymore.
A funny joining incident that worked out well happened when we first moved to Princeton in 2016. One of the reasons we moved here was that we needed a house with an inlaw apartment, and after looking for 3 solid years in Westminster, we had to open up to other towns. Also, our youngest daughter Erin wanted to play tennis in high school, and Oakmont, the high school in Ashburnham-Westminster, didn’t have a tennis team. Jay also likes to play tennis, plus we wanted to meet people, so we decided to join the Pine Hill Club, but immediately found out that there was a long waiting list. So we figured, OK, we’ll join Princeton Tennis Club instead, keeping in mind we knew virtually no one or anything about the clubs, and both had a waiting list. Then of course, as it always seems to work out, we got into Pine Hill about two seconds after we’d joined PTC, so now we were members of both tennis clubs, which seemed dumb to us at the time. But, as we got to know the people and the clubs, it turned out to be great, since we met people in both clubs while finding out that the clubs were unique, and both very affordable.
Joining a food co-op in Westminster didn’t work out so well for us in the early 2000s. We joined this food cooperative in Westminster (it had to be about 2005) to support some local farmers and get fresh vegetables. We did OK with supporting the farmers, because it was sort of expensive, but the “getting fresh vegetables” part was such a total flop that it was a subject of jokes in our household. This one in Westminster had a few major drawbacks: Mainly, you didn’t get to pick out what vegetables you wanted. Instead we received a preselected mix of vegetables which was completely unsuited to being used by a family when preparing a meal. Not only was the selection crummy, but there wasn’t enough of it. A typical basket of farm products would be plenty of gourds, lots of cabbage, maybe a tiny head of lettuce and one or two ears of corn, a couple miniature red potatoes, enough broccoli for one person, perhaps a little pumpkin, and if we were lucky, a few string beans. It was like that old joke about a mediocre restaurant, complaining both that the food was lousy and the portions were too small.
Another flop that we almost joined, going so far as to have the sales rep come to our house (this was probably in 1999 or so), was a well-known meat and meals service, which supplied food, particularly steaks, for preset meals. These meals, allegedly good, would be automatically delivered to our house four times a year, something I’m not really sure in retrospect why we wanted it. Maybe to save time? A frustration was that they kept telling us an average per meal cost, while not being clear on which of those meals would be mac ‘n cheese and which would be tenderloin steaks. In any event, it turned out that unfortunately this company wasn’t just selling steaks with appropriate side dishes, but freezers to keep the food in as well, and apparently the freezer was the main sales profit center, given the focus on it in the closing sales pitch. Finding that out, we immediately knew we didn’t want to join this club, but unfortunately, the salesman had joined the “I’m not leaving until they sign up” club, so after trying to be polite to the older gentleman for about half an hour, we finally had to just tell him to get lost. It was like that old Saturday Night Live skit (back when it was funny) “the thing that wouldn’t leave”.
One completely positive recent joining experience is our membership in the Rattle Root Farm CSA next to our house, which makes it delicious AND convenient. Going in to their third year of providing locally grown organic produce, I believe they are sold out of shares for the 2025 season, but they have a farm stand set up anytime they have surplus, they set up at a local outdoor market and I’m sure there will be surprises this year, so that more people can enjoy the fruits and vegetables of their labor.
I do love to cook and Jay says we should socialize more, so I’d be open to joining a dinner club if anyone knows of one or is considering starting one. Just no cards. Here we go again.