Trouble stories make great bedtime stories for little kids. What’s a trouble story you ask? Well, there was this one time when I was about seven years old and we were having cheeseburgers for dinner. A block of sliced American cheese was on the table, and I picked the whole thing up and said to my mother, I’m going to take a bite out of the whole block of cheese. To which my mother replied, “Oh no you don’t–you’re in huge trouble if you do that”. I thought about it for as long as a seven-year-old probably would, and I think I made a second warning to my mother – – letting her know I was really considering it. And then I took a bite out of the entire block of American cheese, so that every single slice had a little seven year-old bite out of it. Isn’t that cute? My mother did not think so.
I know I seem like a rule follower, but my trouble stories run deep. And what I found out as a parent, is that my kids were fascinated with all the things they were surprised to learn about young rebellious me.
Then there was the time where my mother was inside eating spaghetti, and I brought a large worm in from outside and told her that it looked like what she was eating. And while I’m talking about creatures and my misbehavior, there was this other time that I once said to my mother, “open your mouth and close your eyes, and I’ll give you a big surprise”. The surprise was I put a live moth in her mouth. Do not expect that for me? Now that I think of it, it’s a wonder I didn’t turn out to be a total delinquent. And my poor mother!
Having raised six kids, Jay and I always had to get creative about tucking in time – – we were always tired by the end of the day, and none of these kids wanted to go to bed. We would often tag team one of us would take Erin, the youngest and the other two would take Adam and Abigail who are closer in age. Or sometimes when we were brave, one of us would take all three at the same time. What I remember, a lot of is we would finally get done with the tucking in, and then there they would be again on the stairs, not tired, needing a drink of water. Back upstairs with the trouble stories.
Since Jay spent a good amount of his childhood in Puerto Rico, his stories involve when he and his friends would slip out of the tour group to go exploring caves in old San Juan, or sneaking into the movies without paying. His crimes were obviously more hard-core than mine.
Some of my trouble stories involve Flis’ market, because this was the early 1970s, and you could just send your kid to the store. I don’t know if I was ever sent for cigarettes, but it wouldn’t surprise me. If my mother is reading this story, she will tell me that’s absolutely not true – – but she also questioned me about my story where I detailed my grandmother taking my cousin Gail and I on Wilson Bus trips, and I verified with Gail that that is 100% true. Don’t miss that story about Road Trip Games of Our Childhood.
We recently took a trip to the Bridge of Flowers in Shelburne Falls, and drove by the new Flis’ market, which brought up a few of my Flis’ market stories. There was this one time where I was given a dollar to go to Flisses (Flis’?) and get hamburger rolls. Somehow between here and there, I had a great idea. They sold these really cool, crocodile candy novelties, almost like a Pez dispenser, but you would just open the crocodile’s mouth and all the little candies would come out. Burger buns be damned. I was buying 20 crocodiles. I don’t know how I thought I was going to explain that at home. I guess it’s just interesting to see how decision-making works at a young age. Clearly, there would be no way of getting around the missing dollar or hamburger buns. Luckily Mrs.Flis had a liberal return policy. I would like to think that when we were at the dinner table eating our burgers that night, it wasn’t the same night I was so brazen as to bite a chunk of the cheese.
If you have little kids and you’re exhausted, but they need to be tucked in every night, think about the things you did when you were little – – I promise the kids will love hearing about your adventures, and maybe even fall asleep.
